How did a computer scientist such as Geoffrey Hinton manage...

"Good idea, but how can we wangle something that says 'Physics'?"

In December 1973, when Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, comedian Tom Lehrer dropped his mic and stamped on it—satire had just died.

"Hey guys, AI is pretty big so let's centre our prizes on it this year. We can get some attention, and it's all about advertising, at the end of the day, isn't it?"

Should parents force their kids to go to school when they are sick?

They then move on to selectively provide their own version of history. But hey, it’s OK. They wanted controversy, didn’t they? Whatever.

There you go.^†

[Younger voice] "But wait a minute, Ising-Lenz goes back to the 1920's. And didn't Hinton plagiarise rather a lot? He also didn't invent modern backprop, did he, that's Linnainmaa? And Amari preceded Hopfield, too. That's not a good look."

Do you consider masturbating to porn cheating if you are married?

[Older voice] "Mmm. What about Hinton, he's widely regarded? Nobody got fired for buying IBM"

Whatever.

^* Fibiger got the 1926 Medicine prize for the discovery of Spiroptera carcinoma (Don’t ask).

What is the craziest thing that you've ever witnessed?

… then anything is possible. There’s no rule that a Nobel Prize has to make sense.^*

Why wait any longer for the world to begin?

My 11 million SEK, Dr Jo.

How do so-called Religious/Christian people really think homosexuality is even a sin? That would be nonsense. In fact, LGBT people need love instead of contempt/hatred. The word Homosexual didn't appear until the 1850s.

In awarding prizes, the Nobel Committees often seem only marginally more competent than MTG is at explaining meteorology. And if they can give a literature prize for lyrics like:

When he's standing, in front of you

"Where can we shoehorn it in? Chemistry is easy 'cos AlphaFold; but what about physics? A bit more challenging, right?"

Can someone write me a sex story?

"Didn't he do something with Boltzmann in it? That sounds physics-y. RBMs and stuff, eh?"

(Mumbles of assent)

[The basic structure of artificial neural networks] has close similarities with spin models in statistical physics applied to magnetism or alloy theory. This year’s Nobel Prize in Physics recognizes research exploiting this connection to make breakthrough methodological advances in the field of ANN.

What do you do when you are struggling to fall asleep?

"Good point, I'm sure we can swing it. And let's tack on Hopfield while we're about it."

You can have your cake and eat it too

"Naah, Linnainmaa is a Finn. Can't give it to a bloody Finnish mathematician. Let's go for drinks. Brännvin anyone?"

Why don't I want to talk to my girlfriend when she loves me a lot? I feel bored.

Fortunately, we are privy to the discussion that led up to this:

A fly on the wall at the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences

Whatever.

If women see themselves as free, dignified, human beings just as good as men, can Trump hang it up and just lose in a landslide at last? How can men who like and respect women help improve womens' self-esteem?

^† They rationalise their decision thusly:

(Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize for Literature, 2016)

Why wait any longer for the one you love?